things almost became ugly when
i offered to pay for C's petrol today.
he doesnt like me to pay for such stuff
but i feel its the least i can do to lessen
his burden since he has so much stuff
to handle right at this moment. ):
he got mad.

we both sat in silence for a long while.
my mind was in a storm.
should i say sorry or keep quiet?
i find it so hard to say sorry because
of the thing called pride.
however, i thought to myself.
what is my pride compared to the love
i have for this guy sitting next to me.
besides, i'm in the wrong.
why bother about my pride when i've
done something to hurt my baby.
so, i pluck up all my courage,
took his hand and apologised.
apologised for taking things into
my own hand without his consent.
he understood. and mentioned that
he didnt mean to flare up either. ilu. (:

went to joe's thai kitchen for food.
super duper full.
walked around in anchor point
where we fooled around like little kids.
everyone. and i mean EVERYONE
was staring. HAHHA.
i'm full of bruises. INFLICTED BY C!
ABUSEEEEEEEEE!

on the road, we were randomly talking.
caught a glimpse of esplanade
which reminded me of once, where
he and i were there. just talking.
then i asked him about anniversaries.
unlike normal couples, we dont have an
actual definitive day.
so i suggested the 1st of each month
since we had our first kiss on 1st march.
but 1st of march isnt good as well,
because he's still with her.
perhaps we shouldnt celebrate at all.
it just evokes bad memories.
i still feel sick in the stomach at times
when i see the pictures and think about
C and her.
or perhaps we'll have an anniversary
when he decides to pop the question
officially to me. HAHA. -HINTS-

why do people celebrate anniversaries?
to celebrate the quarrels?
to celebrate the laughter?
or is it to celebrate that despite all
the happiness and unhappiness, that both
are still together after all that time?
to me, anniversaries shouldnt be spent
every month or year.
it should be spent every single day,
second and minute.
cause what matters most isnt about the
past. its about the present.
so as long as at this very moment,
you're still with him/her,
you should rejoice and celebrate.
not wait for that day to come in every month.

i dislike to see C being tormented
psychologically each day about
the group. about K.
he has been treating them well
but they are not reciprocating
his kind efforts at all.
it hurts me to see him this way.
because i know my baby doesnt
deserve all these.
he deserves much more, better.

to C:
because of the little time left,
i wish we could ignore this matter
as much as possible.
they are not worthy of us being
upset or frustrated over.
we should maximise all the time we
have now.
just let them be. and we should just
enjoy ourselves.
let's play pretend. pretend that they
are non-existent and there's only
the both of us on this face of earth.
shall we?


/i love walking in the middle of the road
with you cause it feels like there's only
the two of us left in this world.
no sorrows, no frustations. just us.
just love.
twenty three days.